


Things Like This

by AceTrainerAmber



Category: Sugar Pine 7
Genre: Akrasia, alternative lifestyle, alternative lifestyle spoilers, sugar pine 7 spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-12-12 23:19:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11747271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceTrainerAmber/pseuds/AceTrainerAmber
Summary: Cib didn't want this to happen. It wasn't supposed to be like this. He wasn't supposed to hurt, or hurt others. But it was things like this that had a mind of their own.My take on Cib's mindset during the Chapter One finale of Alternative lifestyle. Spoilers.





	Things Like This

Cib didn’t know what to do. And even though he _usually_ didn’t know what to do, this was different. This was painful. This was fucking _heartbreaking_. He wasn’t sure who to be more mad at – Sami or Parker? Who broke his trust more? Who took the first step? What, exactly, had they done? How mad was reasonably mad? He needed answers, but the thought of looking either of them in the face made his throat close up. His heart beat uncomfortably in his chest. What the _fuck_ should he do?  
He ended up driving aimlessly for a while, hoping the night air and the wind and the loud music would calm him down. Help him breathe. Empty his head. Help him think clearly about the situation. But all it did was piss him off more. His hands felt stiff from gripping the steering wheel. His jaw ached from the constant grinding of his teeth. He forced a few deep breaths, trying to figure out where to go from there.

Then he noticed the brightly lit restaurant across the street. The restaurant with a bar. _A few drinks couldn’t hurt_ , he thought, speeding across four lanes of traffic. A drink. He could relax after that. It was things like this that warranted drinking, right?

After the first shot slid down his throat, he felt his shoulders unknot. He could breathe again. Over the next few, he actually began to relax and forget why he was there. Why was he there? He glanced at his phone, at his wallpaper, at Sami’s sweet face. And hell opened up within him. For a few moments, he doubled over on his stool. It felt like his heart was being ripped from his chest. Fuck. What the fuck? How could they treat him like this? He needed to know what the fuck was so _wrong_ with him. Because something had to be wrong with him. Why else would they betray him like this?

Sitting back up, he glanced at his phone, at Sami. She’d know. She’d have the answers. So he texted her, telling her to meet him at the beach, under the pier. 9-1-fucking-1. He needed to talk. And even though he really shouldn’t have, he drove himself there. As soon as he noticed her trudging across the beach, he met her halfway.

“Hey, what did you need to talk about?” She was out of breath, just a little. He couldn’t help but wonder where she was when he called. Was she with him?

“I think you know,” he mumbled, shaking his head and handing her his camera. “Parker.”

“Cib,” Sami put a hand on his arm to steady him. “Are you drunk?”

“Sami, just say it,” he spit, looking at his boots. They had filled with sand.

“I talked to Parker. I had a conversation with Parker,” she sighed, irritated.

“So you admit it? You talked to Parker?” It felt like a punch to the gut. _Fuck._

“I had a _conversation_. With Parker.”

“Mhm. Just a conversation.”

Cib rolled his eyes and rocked back on his heels, desperate for any space between them. He should have known. Should have known this was a bad idea. Should have known that she’d lie. That there was something to cover up. That Steve was right. He exhaled through clenched teeth. _God dammit god dammit god dammit_. It was things like this that made him wonder if he was ever meant to be in a relationship. Maybe starting one had been a mistake.

“I saw the footage.”

“There is no footage! I just had to talk to him! He listens, unlike you!”

It felt like his heart stuttered in his chest. So this was what it came down to. Something that Parker had and he didn’t. Something that made him a bad boyfriend. Something wrong with him. And the worst part? He knew it was probably true. He _didn’t_ listen. Not to his friends. Not to her. Not to the wrenching feeling in his gut, telling him to get the fuck out of there. So that’s what was wrong with him.

“I listen.” But he sounded meek. Defeated. Because it was a lie.

“I want you to watch this when you’re sober. Because this?” She gestured to him, all of him, angrily. “This is not you.”

“Who the fuck do you think you are?”

They locked eyes for a moment, and he recognized the hurt in hers. He was being a gigantic, gaping asshole. But he couldn’t stop himself. Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it was the betrayal. Maybe it was something else. He didn’t know. But he staggered away from her, praying to anyone and everyone that she’d follow.

But she didn’t. And he was alone again.

At the car, he leaned his forehead against the steering wheel and screamed. He screamed until tears rolled from his eyes and snot dripped from his nose. He screamed until his voice didn’t work anymore. When he opened the door and spat on the pavement, his saliva was tinged with blood. Good. It was things like this that made him want to rip himself open and spill his guts for everyone to see. For Parker to see. For Sami to see. See what they had done to him.

That pain kept him in the moment. And in that specific moment, he knew what to do next. As soon as he pulled onto the highway, he called Steve.

“I am so sorry,” he immediately blurted, ignoring whatever Steve had begun to say. “I’m ending this right now.”

And he hung up. He tossed his phone in the backseat, speeding towards his new destination. He wasn’t sure how he was going to end this. But Sami hadn’t given him any answers, so he had to go get them from Parker. The alcohol hit him fully as he drove there. More than once, he had to jerk the wheel to get back in his own lane. He couldn’t die in a car wreck before figuring all this shit out.

He screeched to a stop in front of Parker’s house. How many hours had he spent here? How often had they laughed? How many times had they watched movies or had meetings about Sugar Pine 7? How often had they talked about the future together? How long had his friend been going behind his fucking back?

With the anger rekindled, he barged right in without knocking. Seeing Parker’s face, his stupid fucking face, lit a raging inferno within him. He ignored Parker’s protests, and stomped around the couch to face him.

“Are you a good listener, Parker?” He sniffed.

“I don’t. I don’t know what that means.” Parker held his hands up defensively.

“It’s a simple question.”

“Are you drunk right now? Do you…you can’t be here, alright?”

Cib grabbed Parker by the front of the shirt. He was fucking done listening to this shit. He needed answers. And for once in his life, Parker stood up for himself. He shoved Cib away, panting. Terrified.

But who the fuck was _Parker_ to be upset now? He’s the one who made the mistake. He betrayed their friendship. Did he think he could just get away with it? Before he could stop himself, Cib launched himself forward and punched Parker. And once he started, it was like something had possessed him. He kept punching, and punching, and punching. Ignoring his stinging knuckles. Ignoring Parker’s blood. It was things like this that made it easy to lose control.

He hardly recognized his friend as he shoved him to the floor, getting on top of him to continue the attack. He hardly heard Parker’s declarations of innocence. He ignored the apology. He didn’t fucking care. It was too late for redemption. Parker needed to face his punishment. Which is why, as he crawled away, Cib grabbed the back of his shirt. And shoved. Parker’s face slammed against the coffee table, bouncing off the corner. And then he just slipped to the floor.

And then…silence. Stillness. Parker laid on his stomach, face turned to the side. In a way, he looked peaceful. Well, he would look peaceful if not for the blood steadily pooling around his face. The only thing Cib could hear was the pounding of his heart and his ragged breathing. Parker wasn’t breathing. Parker wasn’t fucking breathing. What the hell just happened?

Cib sat down hard, swallowing against a lump in his throat. He did this. That blood was because of him. Parker was still because of him. Parker was fucking dead. Because of him. He wasn’t sure how long he sat there, but eventually he heard the door open. When he looked up, Steve and James stood in the doorway breathing heavily. Shocked. Tears stung at Cib’s eyes. This wasn’t supposed to happen. This was never supposed to happen. This wasn’t what he wanted.

But when it came down to it, there were some things in life that you could never truly prepare for. Things that you couldn’t control. Things that went wrong. Confusing things. Dreadful things. The kinds of things that completely ripped you apart from the inside out. It was things like this that brought out the monsters in him. That made rage boil in his blood, hate seep from every pore. It was things like this that make him act like someone else.

It was things like this.


End file.
